For The Love Of Sydney

page 8

     Jim  fell to sleep on the couch around 5:00 a.m., I made another pot of coffee and watched the candle flicker in the dark kitchen.  The sound of the clock ticking seem to get slower with each loud tick.  I continue watching the blanket slowly go up and down.  Every time it seem to stop, I'd jump up to rub her back and head, pleading for her stay.  I guess, we as humans can become selfish in so many ways.  Just the thought of our own loss, our pain makes us deny the truth.  Why was I willing to let her suffer instead of letting her go in peace?  At least she would pass at home.  This was only home she'd ever known, the place where she had been loved for five years.

     The sunrise was nothing more then a blessing of relief.  She made it through the night.  We made it through the night together.   Maybe now, just maybe we'd have a chance.  Or had time already taken away our only chance?  Last Thursday, if she'd been put on antibiotics then she might of had a chance.  It's now been seven days and only two days of antibiotics.

      Wednesday morning, once again sitting in the vet's office begging for any kind of help.  Begging for answers because we know in our hearts she's out of time.  For a whole week we've been pleading for someone, anyone to help us save our baby.  The guessing game, the run around, the waiting, the watching her suffer was done today!  We had, had it and we demanded answers today.  Did she have any chance at all to live?  Yes or no, is all we asked for with tears running down our face.  

     The nurses held her still, trying to draw blood from her front left leg, on the first try the vein burst.  I was holding her backside talking to her trying to calm her down.   She turned her head back towards my voice, looking for her mommy.  Her bloodshot eyes pleading for me to make them stop.  Pleading for me to take her home were she could feel safe.  She was so far into dehydration that they couldn't get any blood.  After trying both front legs, both back legs and even from her neck.  I burst into tears because, we finally had the answer.  It was over, she's so far gone.  We were to late.  We had failed her, for the first and only time.